Love Conquers All

there is turbulence within this mind, however i realize tht this too shall pass...there is a negative side fighting for this mind to bcome more hateful nad selfish..however im doing my best to b mindful and to extinguish such thoughts...i guess i need to increase my mindfulness so tht i am able to overcome them! this post is to recall the qualities and wisdom in which to keep in mind of,

1. rmb tht to love is to accept ppl as they truly r, n ppl r just ppl...the "good" n "bad" r just states of mind which r temporary, a "bad" person is not always "bad", the unwholesome qualities within their mind varies in degrees at different times n if they hv some wisdom, wholesome qualities also arise in their minds at times. similarly, the "good" person is not always "good", wholesome qualities also vary in different degree within the mind. These wholesome and unwholesome qualities are just states of mind which the mind chooses to cling to at different times. also, tht we shouldn expect others to be such n such, realize tht the imperfections in our loved ones could b the main reason tht they r able to b w us. if they were any better, they would not even b w us.

2. rmb tht to love is to b humble. to be humble is not to think lowly of others, not to think lowly of ourselves either, but not to even think about ourselves. bsides, isnt tht what sparks the beauty within a person in the first place? a heart generous n humble n appreciative of an opportunity to do something for someone else is that imbued w the quality of Dana. however, when one starts thinking, how does this benefit ME? why should I b the only one giving?...such thoughts of ego reduces the sincerity of the Dana. it also renders us blind w ignorance frm the fact tht we hv been given an opportunity to make someone's life better n we r complaining about it! of course we must give Dana w wisdom, however at present, all tht comes to mind is tht as long as the help we give others will not cause ourselves or them to b harmed, it should b considerd as a wise form of giving.

3. rmb tht to love is to forgive. to forgive is to give up the right to hate ppl for hurting us. it means not to want to show our "power" at others for being better than us. this also reduces competitiveness. to be OKAY w being helpless at times. realize tht we cannot b the best at everything, n there r times relationships will also fail. ultimately, all relationships r impermanent n will weaken or end either this life or in lives to come, therefore we should not blame ourselves or others if situations arise where we are put in conflict w others...after all this is one of the 8 conditions of life (but that shall b another post! =P)

4. finally, rmb tht love is allowing the person to be free. to let go of our views of them. not to judge them for choices of actions which they make or choose to continually make. sometimes, ppl make choices which we may feel is unwise or may lead to their ruins, as a good friend, all we can do is to advise them n try to talk them out of it, however keep in mind that the ultimate choice of action is theirs. and if the time does come where they do meet w misfortune, we will b there to pick up the pieces n help them through those times.

okay? okay! so live well my child! just a final thought,

"These four, young householder, should be understood as warm-hearted friends:
(1) he who is a helpmate
(2) he who is the same in happiness and sorrow
(3) he who gives good counsel
(4) he who sympathises.

(1) "In four ways, young householder, should a helpmate be understood as a warm-hearted friend:
(i) he guards the heedless
(ii) he protects the wealth of the heedless
(iii) he becomes a refuge when you are in danger
(iv) when there are commitments he provides you with double the supply needed.

(2) "In four ways, young householder, should one who is the same in happiness and sorrow be understood as a warm-hearted friend:
(i) he reveals his secrets
(ii) he conceals one's own secrets
(iii) in misfortune he does not forsake one
(iv) his life even he sacrifices for one's sake.

(3) "In four ways, young householder, should one who gives good counsel be understood as a warm-hearted friend:
(i) he restrains one from doing evil
(ii) he encourages one to do good
(iii) he informs one of what is unknown to oneself
(iv) he points out the path to heaven.

(4) "In four ways, young householder, should one who sympathises be understood as a warm-hearted friend:
(i) he does not rejoice in one's misfortune
(ii) he rejoices in one's prosperity
(iii) he restrains others speaking ill of oneself
(iv) he praises those who speak well of oneself."

(Source: Sigalovada Sutta)

Sadhu Sadhu Sadhu!