today i feel that growing up is tough...u know when we were young..we askd things from ppl n when they say they cant we always think "why? its such a simple thing"...n actually..yes its a simple thing..but due to our own complexd minds, we somehow r not able to give it to ppl...
take for instance...attention...caring...this is something we can give so easily when we were young..we tell ppl "i love you" so easily...we hug ppl so easily...we openly and obviously show ppl how we feel about them by openly declaring it haha...n as we grow older...what happens?...
shyness?..i donno..being afraid to get hurt?...as we grow older n older...we bcome so afraid to xpress ourselves...when we r angry we dont show...we tend to keep it inside...n maybe our motives were tht if we stop thinking about it, it will go away...but sometimes it doesnt...n we have grudges for ppl or things..
we develop fears of losing things...yet we donno how to tell them tht their important to us and appreciate them better...instead we keep it in ourselves n bcome sensitive anytime the person seems to wanna leave us...
we dont tell our loved ones "i love you" enough..we expect them to know thts how we feel about them...sometimes we get so caught up in our own worries n in our mind tht we treat our loved ones badly..we never smile around them...we ignore them...how do u expect them to feel our "love"?...
sometimes we make mistakes...n somehow it changes our view of things...sometimes we put ourselves in such risky positions where nothing bcomes controllable to us...n when we recover from it..we bcome so afraid of things that we would only dare to do things which we can CONTROL n MANIPULATE...something safe...something comfortable..somewhere we dont hav to feel afraid...
some ppl even get hurt so much tht they put their mind in this safe position..n would refuse to bcome closer or know anyone deeper bcoz of it...
growing up is really difficult...i realize tht all these things r just manifestations of aversions towards bad environments and attachments towards good ones...n u know..the only way to survive is to LET GO of it...its all past...n we cant change it...to OPEN OUR HEARTS...not be afraid to be hurt...haha i donno what im talking about...ah well..thts all then =)
No comments:
Post a Comment