Balance between Perseverance and Patience

today i was on my way to university in the car and i was listening to music. suddenly an interesting and random thought struck me..heres how the conversation went in my head,

: how come noone uses sign language to express the meaning of their songs to the deaf & dumb ar? hmm..so unfair to them right? they dont even know what it means?
: wait wait..what m i talking about, deaf ppl cant hear the music also..apalaa...
: ehh..then for these hip hop songs where these ppl r like dancing away, i wonder how they feel like when they see ppl moving to themselves n theres no sound..haha doesn it look really wierd? haha!!
: wow...deaf ppl are kinda lucky, they get to enjoy a peace that ppl like us with normal hearing can never understand, they can focus totally on what they wanna do and never b distracted by hearing sense objects...hmm..
: ehh? they also cant speak no? when i am angry or sad, all i wanna do is just scold or scream or talk to someone...but these ppl hv no ability of doing that...they can only keep it inside their minds...thus they wont commit bad karma with their speech..
: wow...how r they so tolerant..ppl like us will curse and say bad words when we kick something or fall down..these ppl cannot do that..they cant even laugh out loud when their happy..
: hmmm..i guess they r used to it since they were born...as they hv no ability of speech, they do not treat their speech like an outlet for emotions..
: we treat our speech as an outlet for emotions, we use our mouths to speak ill of others, of things, to scream, shout and show disrespect..we blame it on our "automatic reaction" but the truth is we r not mindful. we just treat it as an outlet, we do not take responsibility for what we say, we claim it is "automatic"..but when u compare it to someone whom is deaf & dumb, someone who has no ability and escape for speech, they r able to hold it together more than us
: the same goes for our facial expressions, some ppl hv been scarred so badly on their face, or their faces r so swelled up, they r unable to move their facial muscles to show emotions, the rest of us on the other hand just use those muscles and show ppl we r angry, sad n happy..it is also a form of escape n not taking responsibility on what we choose to do

in conclusion, this is somewhat similar to a person who beats things, beats ppl, kills ppl, burns things and etc when they r unhappy or angry..they also blame it on "automatic" response..but in truth, they r unwilling to b mindful and take responsibility on their actions..for ppl who dont act violently by beating or harming others when angry, they do so bcoz in their minds they say "wait..harming ppl is wrong, therefore i shall not to this, i shall restrain from this." n thus, it bcomes not a choice for them to pursue when angerd

when one views or perceives something as a choice to express anger or other emotions, the mind would naturally entice u to act in that way when expressing your emotions...therefore if we constantly tell ourselves that "no, this is not a proper way to express emotions" therefore we will deal with the emotions in our minds when we r faced with it.

this can be linked to my job search, i hv given myself the option to leave when i am not happy..therefore any slight dissatisfaction will lead this mind to entice me to leave...not waste time...however for some ppl which r poor and need the money desperately to support their families, quitting is not an option, thus they will stand still and persevere with whatever challenges they face in front of them. this is in accordance with the earth element, element of perseverance and standing put to face adversity...

the Lord Buddha teaches us that we must persevere in face of adversity, we learn this in meditation where we r told to stay and watch the mind no matter what the mind chooses to do to us, watch it..no matter how much pain comes, do not b moved by it..at the same time, do not force urself to stand in the pain if u really cant take it, let loose certain times..it is the middle path..it is of discipline and perseverence, yet it is of patience with ourselves..a martial arts student doesnt take just one day to complete one move, he takes days and trains for months and years, everyday he pushes himself abit more, everyday he stands perseverant towards the pains, but at the same time, he balances it with patience, knowing his limits and soon he becomes an expert in his choice of martial arts..

its a balance...a balance of perseverance and patience...earth and water? hahaha!!!..okay!