Embarassing Mistake

attachment! that is the reason i became so negative yesterday...LoL!!

i was afraid to let go of what i hv...to let go of ppl...bcoz i was afraid they wouldn come bk..but wisdom hit me..if they don't come bk..r they even worth the trouble then?? no right? hahaha...so then..problem solved~~ yay~~

today i got 2 random topics though...firstly...ego...i foundout..the bigger our ego is..the more easily we get hurt or insulted...so if we can small-ify or even make our ego dissapear...then we wouldn't feel hurt...stop thinking about the I and the ME...think about the WE...the US...

secondly...my friend made a very good point yday..she said tht many guys like to talk nonsense...make empty promises...n it reminded me how i would like to develop tht sort of quality..the quality of speaking only important things...the quality of speaking only true things...the quality of being reliable..which is kinda like the 4th precept...so KUDOS~~ i will develop this properly!!

which brings me to another topic..i hv been thinking tht i was leftout n leftout always..n i oversaw how so many ppl were so nice to me...anyways..when one of my friends talkd to me yday..sudenly i just rmb how nice this friend was to me..n i cant bliv i hv forgotten it so fast..hmm..haha..however..i bcame aware again..i tried to rmb not to get attachd this time...

letting go is not throwing away ur possessions and ur family and friends...letting go...is being able to accept it if they hav to go away...being able to accept it when the karma bond btween us has expired..haha..once in awhile..maybe we bcome super close 2 some ppl...thts bcoz our karma bond was strong..but then...when the karma kinda expires...then..it will b the end of tht closeness...n then we hv to move on..bcoz life is full of this rising n falling of events..things come for awhile..then soon they go..

anyways..i was kinda embarassd with myself bcoz i thought so negatively of ppl which were actually nice to me...it reminded me tht...i shouldn speak of anything unless im sure it is correct...i shouldn say ppl leave me out when it was not true...n makes me feel sorry and embarassd..haha...i will b more mindful this time...

thanks to my very good friend for listening to me n clearing my view...view this all from a third person's perspective..in a way..all these things r not really important..we just get too attachd...so i forgive myself for doing it haha..just be more mindful next time =)