@.@ im so shameless...im unable to keep my private matters to myself n seem to tell ppl, blog or fb about it so openly...hmm...i wish i know how to differentiate things...or u know...maybe theres nothing wrong w being so open...what i should change..would be to make my actions, thoughts and speech something which is open n righteous...to live a life like a proper "jun zi" (gentleman in chinese)...or in other words, be able to do, say or think things openly n not hiding under a veil of secrecy and deception...after all...isnt an open and simple life more worth living than one which is caught up in lying and covering?...hmm..okay!
on tht note, yday night i was mindful of the feeling of loneliness...the mind was weak and craving for some love, care n affection from ppl...when i look at it, i realize tht im not ACTUALLY lonely..i hv friends which offer me their companionship n would happily chat w me if i told them i needed company..HOWEVER, being full of unsatisfactoriness, i do not seek for their company, but for company from those ppl who are not able to provide such companionship for me...so it is not that i was lonely..it was more tht i was seeking satisfaction from objects which are unable to provide it...
as i was about to msg ppl to chat..i realize tht if i msgd them n got a reply..this feeling would then go away...n i would b unable to watch this feeling for how it actually is...in addition, the feeling may pass after i find someone to chat w, but it will return again some other day, so i must learn to watch it n understand it's nature!
i was also mindful of alot of wanting...the contact w certain sense pleasures causes the mind to seek n wish to b closer to these sense objects...however..the mind is deluded to the fact tht these sense objects will NEVER b perfect for the mind...there will always be unsatisfactoriness n suffering. hmm..let us be more mindful of these minds filled w craving.
Lesson of the Day,
1. Life is impermanent, unsatisfactory (suffering) and soulless. Continue to contemplate about it!
2. On a side note, i read that true compassion, true loving kindness...these attributes all come together...true compassion comes w loving kindness, equanimity and sympathetic joy. they come hand in hand, presence of one will bring the rest along..so we must check ourselves when we claim we have one of these..coz all 4 should b present =)
Sadhu Sadhu Sadhu!
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