Forgiveness

i am inspired!! after reading something which a friend posted quite awhile ago, it refreshed my mind and reminded me of the importance of a spiritual life!! truly energizing it is! hahaha the article was about why we say sadhu sadhu sadhu.

the first sadhu is to be said when we have disciplined our body...that is to say that we had abstained from killing and harming other living beings, we have abstained from stealing and taking what is not ours and finally that we have abstained from sexual misconduct and even remained chaste. these are the 3 evil actions that can be done by the body, however, we must always remember that doing this 3 things does not mean that we are horrible ppl, if we realize our mistakes and would like to start over, we can and we do that first by forgiving ourselves and do our best to discipline ourselves, take it day by day, take it hour by hour, take it moment by moment!

the second sadhu is referring to when one has disciplined their words. as said in the previous post, the tongue is capable of the most vicious deeds. In order to discipline our words, we need to refrain from speaking what is not true or lying, we need to refrain from back biting and carrying tales about people, we need to refrain from cursing and talking rudely and we also need to refrain from speaking nonsense. Speaking only that is positive, speaking gently, softly and truthfully, then one would deserve the second sadhu.

the third sadhu is referring to when one has disciplined their minds. The mind can generate three types of thoughts, thoughts of ill will, thoughts of covetousness, and thoughts of ignorance. To abstain from dwelling into such thoughts would thus discipline our minds. Therefore honoring the third sadhu.

all that being said, if we had not b discipline in body, speech and mind, it does not mean that we cannot say sadhu. instead, it should b the best opportunity to b mindful of what we have done previous and seek to discipline ourselves. we need to forgive ourselves of previous mistakes, what happend cannot be changed, words said cannot be taken back. when we have inadvertently hurt someone w something which we said or done previously, they will blame us for it and say that it is us that make them feel so n so..to a certain extent, that would b true as if it was not for our unwise action, the event may not have occured. HOWEVER, always rmb tht, in the end, choosing to accept the feeling of anger or hatred at someone for something they did previously is just going to hurt ourselves, only we feel the anger n hurt. they may either still b ignorant and couldn't care less how we feel, OR they may have apologized to us (we don't wish to forgive as it has hurt us so much)and we just choose to hold on to the grudge. they being wiser, would have forgiven themselves and moved on in life, improving themselves.

today, here and now, i will acknowledge all the wrongs that had been done to me,
1. the ppl tht lookd down on me and didn't wana b friends w me bcoz i was ugly n fat and made me feel unwanted, uncool and as if i didn't deserve happiness
2. the ppl tht accepted me as their friends n then decided tht i wasn't good enough for them n left me out of their group
3. the ppl whom i had told my deepest feelings and secrets to them which they may or may not have told other ppl n talked behind my back
4. the ppl whom talked badly bhind my back regarding how i was naughty or that i wasn't the perfect son, brother, friend, student, teacher etc etc
5. the ppl whom judged me n treated me as if i wantd so much from them when they were the ones whom just couldn't offer anything more
6. the ppl whom hated me bcoz of some personal reasons which i cant seem to recall
7. the ppl whom was friends w me b4 n suddenly just dumped me aside n pretend they didn't know me when i didn't see them anymore
8. the ppl whom i told my deepest feelings to n couldn't b botherd to even life any effort for me n could only feel guilty tht they weren't good enough
9. the ppl whom made me feel useless, like i wasn't worth to live, like i was worthless, like i was unlovable, like i was cruel, like i was mean, like i was weak, like i was stupid, like i was ugly etc

n there you have...the list of ppl whom have did me wrong! it is true i was once very angry, sad or hurt by them...admittedly for some cases, i m still abit unhappy...but today, here n now, i choose to free myself from such negative feelings, i forgive...here n now i forgive, i forgive myself for being not perfect...n i choose to accept that everything has happend for its own reason...

i resolve that everything that happend previously, is happening now and will happen in the future will happen for a reason. everytime one door closes, another door opens. theres always hope, theres always something, we just need to be more mindful and look clearly!!! go w the flow of life, relax, enjoy!!! =)